Every Goddess needs a little pampering now and then.

So imagine my surprise when my mother-in-law, Aggie ~ whom I love like perfectly chilled pinot (and that's a lot) ~ told me just a few weeks ago that she'd never had a pedicure in her entire life (gasp!).

To think that this woman raised two kids, divorced two husbands and worked two jobs at a time but had never treated herself to the simple indulgence of a well deserved pedicure just broke my Goddess heart.

So as a belated Mother's Day gift to her (and myself) I made it my personal mission to set things right in the world 10 toes at a time.

To this end, I made us side-by-side appointments at a little spa in our area that lets you bring your own wine (I know, right!?). And Aggie and I  sat down in our heated massage chairs, sipped our wine and talked, completely undisturbed, for an entire hour while we were washed, clipped, rubbed and polished pretty.

When we left Aggie looked at me and said, "I can't believe I never knew how great this is. I should do this every month. And anyways, when's the last time you and I had an hour to just sit an talk?"

We then took our pampered piggies out for a lovely sushi lunch and sat and talked for another hour or two. It was purely divine and our inner Goddesses were absolutely purring by the time we got home.

I'm so grateful for the women in my life, for having a mother-in-law I love so much, and for being able to honor the Goddess within each of us today in such a simple yet indulgent way.

Have a beautiful day Goddesses!
 
 
I love being a mom. And so you'd think that it would follow that Mother's Day would be one of my favorite holidays. I mean, what could be better than a day to celebrate the magic of life and the unique love of a mother? How much more "Goddess" can you get... right?

But 7 years ago on Mother's Day morning I got a phone call that changed who I was forever. When the phone rang, waking me up from fitful dreams, I already knew.
 
The voice on the line was soft and comforting, but the news, however, was not. It was one of the nurses from Hospice calling to let me know that my dad has passed away in the wee hours of the morning.

My range of emotions were like a pendulum, swinging from sadness for myself and my sister and joy that our dad's struggle was finally over. It would be years before that pendulum found its balance again.

But the hardest part of that morning was knowing that I had to call my little sister and greet her with the same news I'd just come to know. No breakfast in bed from her sweet little girls, no day at the beach picking up sea shells, no Mother's Day brunch at her favorite restaurant. Just the harsh reality of life and death and grief. And as hard as it was for me, I knew it would be worse for her. 

I met my sister at Hospice that day and we cried together. We refused to let anyone even say the words "Mother's Day" for years because it would send us into a spiral of grief and tears we still couldn't get a grip on. In fact, I don't even think we called our own mother (who'd divorced our dad more than 10 years earlier) on Mother's Day for many years after that (sorry mom).

Seven years later though, I'm finally starting to enjoy Mother's Day again. I'm sitting here in bed this morning without the heavy heart I had back then. My son just brought me a cup of coffee and I can smell bacon wafting up from the kitchen.

My dad is certainly on my mind today, and I miss him like crazy, but in some ways that makes me want to celebrate even more, to honor the parts of him that are still alive in me. Yeah, today's gonna be a good day. It's Mother's Day afterall.
 
 
Yesterday I had a mini-meltdown. Yep, that’s right. Just after 5:00 last night I sat on my girlfriend’s couch with a glass of white wine in my hand, a fuzzy blanket wrapped around my legs and a box of tissues in my lap as I let the floodgates open.

My two best Divas sat on the couch across from me with compassion in their eyes as I blubbered on about my family dramas, my business challenges and my self-doubts.

They didn’t interrupt me, they just listened. They didn’t tell me that everything was fine when we all knew damn well that it wasn’t. And they didn’t judge me when I finally broke down and allowed myself the rare indulgence of self-pity.

When the tears dried, they offered me some solid support, a new perspective on some old issues and a few inspired ideas for change. Not the usually lip service you get from people who are just trying to make you feel better ~ I’m talking the deep stuff that comes from people who truly know your soul.

And when I left their sacred company I felt a little lighter, a little freer and a little more confident than when I had arrived.

Remember ladies, the Goddess smiles on us through our vulnerability, she cleanses us through our tears and she heals us through our Divas. Viva la Diva!

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Yesterday I had the amazing opportunity to take my 16-year-old son, Tyler, to see His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama give a live speech at a local university.

The very fact that we had the honor of being in the presence of someone who is such an embodiment of compassion was not only humbling, but also very inspiring… as you’ll see.

The Dalai Lama, although a rock star by most spiritual standards, seems to be one of the most down to earth people on the planet. He was warm, approachable and very funny throughout his presentation, even laughing at his own jokes at times.

Although Tyler admittedly had a difficult time understanding some of what the Dalai Lama was saying (his accent is very thick and his English is sometimes broken), apparently the message got through in a big way.

Among the simple truths and spiritual wisdom offer by His Holiness yesterday was the idea that compassion should be the foundation of all of our human interactions. Because despite our vast outward differences, we’re all basically the same on the inside; we’re all just human beings.

But, as the Dalai Lama pointed out, sometimes fear, anger, trepidation and a whole host of other negative emotions can stand in the way of compassionate interaction between human beings. The biggest danger we face in life, he cautioned, is loosing compassion for one another.

It sounds simple, and it is; very simple in fact. But not always easy. Sometimes, life clouds our perception and muddies the waters of compassion.

As honored as I was to hear first hand the spiritual messages and concepts passed along by this beautiful spiritual icon, today I must admit that I had an even bigger experience. Today I saw the art of compassion in action.

You see, my son Tyler had a doctor's appointment this morning and, as we sat in the lobby of the office waiting for his name to be called, a strange man approached us.

The unshaven man in the dirty, tattered shirt was obviously down on his luck and most likely homeless. He wore a hospital ID bracelet on his right wrist and walked with a slight limp.

When he walked up to us, holding hospital discharge papers in his shaking hands, he explained that he was a veteran and he’d just been released from Good Samaritan Hospital after being robbed and stabbed in the leg. A fresh wound on his calf lent credibility to his story.

He said he’d been walking for hours and he just needed bus fare, and could we help? Sadly, I’m not in the habit of carrying cash on me, so when I looked the man in his sad, distant eyes and told him that I didn’t have any money, I was being completely honest.

The man gave a resigned nod and began to walk away. Just then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw my son stand up, reach into his pocket and produce a $5 bill.

Without hesitation, Tyler walked up to the man, tapped him on his shoulder and said, “Excuse me sir, here you go. I hope this helps,” and then quietly sat back down beside me.

Right about this time, the clinic staff discovered the man and asked him to leave. Obviously used to this type of reaction from folks, the man said simply, “Okay, thanks to this young man I can go catch my bus now.”

Tyler didn’t say a word, he just looked up and nodded as the man made his way out the door amongst the suspicious and frightened glares of the staff and other patients.

My eyes filled with tears because in that moment I knew that where others saw some weird, scary homeless guy whose experience was worlds away from their own, my son saw only another human being.
 
 
Yesterday was a difficult day. Why? (Cue rant…) My grandpop discovered that the cancer that had been in remission for years has returned more aggressively than before. My brother-in-law had his second car accident in two days. My mom’s dog was hit by a car. My best friend’s grandfather was admitted into the hospital for kidney failure. And I’m fighting off a miserable little sinus infection that makes my head feel like it’s going to explode. (End rant... refocus...)

Yesterday was a difficult day. But today will be better.

Today I will focus on the fact that grandpop is in good spirits and that I have the pleasure of enjoying his company while he’s here from his home in Belize for his medical treatments. I will be grateful that my brother-in-law, who I love like a brother, is absolutely fine. I will breathe easier because, although my mom’s dog is a little banged up, she’s not badly hurt. I will remember that my friend’s grandfather is surrounded by loving family and uplifted by the prayers of those who can’t be near him physically. And finally, I will honor myself by caring for my body and soul in ways I've neglected lately.

Like many of us, I have a terrible habit of letting my own health and wellbeing go when I’m stressed out. I don’t exercise; I eat foods that lower my vibration, making me feel heavy and weighed down; I don’t sleep at night; I work too much; and I don’t take the proper time for meditation, journaling and all the other things that ground and center me in my spirituality and help me reconnect with my divine nature and spiritual support system.

But today will be better. Today I’m going to start out with a long walk to clear my head and listen to my Guides. I might even follow that up with a little yoga just for good measure. Then I’m going to take a good healthy dose of vitamins and eat wholesome, nourishing foods throughout the day that make me feel vibrant and alive. I’m even going to see if I can schedule a massage with my friend Taina who just had the most beautiful little girl, Anala Rose, who’s angelic face brings me joy and hope for the future.

Today I’m not going to race the clock or push myself into the corners of my schedule. I’m not going to worry about my deadlines. I’m going to ignore phone calls I don’t want to take and I’m not going to return e-mails unless I absolutely feel like it. Today I’m going to play a game with my son and kiss my husband on the lips and not beat myself up for anything I don’t do. Today I’m going to take care of myself so that when I need to, I can take care of others without feeling drained or stressed or overwhelmed.

Yes, yesterday was difficult, but it's over. And today will be better. It will be better because I will make it better. Because life isn’t about what happens around you or even to you, but how you move through it. My goal is to move through it with grace, and with the faith that today will be better.

For more tips on how to care for you body and soul, click here to sign up for my newsletter.
 
 
I'm one of those people who can usually hold a head cold off even when people are coughing and sneezing all around me. But last week my family was here ~ a whole tribe including two younger sisters, three nieces ranging in age from 2 to 14, and one really patient brother-in-law. And, you guessed it, they were all sick.

So despite my neurotic hand-washing (during which I sang the "Happy Birthday" song to myself to make sure I lathered long enough to get the best germ-killing results) I caught their crud, and so did my son Tyler.

In fact, Tyler's been sulking around the house with a low-grade fever for the past 3 days mumbling, "That darn baby" in a voice that sounds exactly like Napoleon Dynamite's.

As for me, being sick holds some blessings, like reminding me to take impeccable care of myself. So to this end, here is my recipe for recovery when coping with the common cold:

1st ~ Nap all day long and allow yourself to be utterly  relaxed, ignoring any distractions that would cause you stress, guilt or worry (especially house work!).

Case in point... right now my Solstice tree sites downstairs half decorated, while ceramic snowmen and stuffed Santa's look back at me with sad, knowing smiles as they prepare to make their annual sojourn into the attic. And although this would normally send me into an OCD frenzy of activity, today I pay them no attention.

2nd ~ Read a semi-trashy romance novel. It's important to have mindless entertainment when you're sick and romance novels fit the bill perfectly. Make sure to read the whole thing cover to cover and avoid full-length mirrors until you've actually washed your hair and changed out of your pajamas.

3rd ~ Take lots of long, luxurious hot baths. And use the good bath salts! I cannot stress the importance of this step enough. Water is healing in nature and soaking just feels good.

Plus, as  an added bonus, you can take your romance novel into the bathtub with you and read while you soak. Add a cup of hot tea and that's the best you can possibly feel when your sick.

And 4th ~ If you have an appetite (and I always do, even when I'm sick), eat really simple, really healthy foods. And, whenever possible, have someone serve them to you in bed.

My hubby actually did this for me yesterday and it instantly raised my energy, making me feel very well cared for and loved.

So there you have it ~ 4 tested and proven ways to "get well soon" or at least make the most of being sick.

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Bonus Tip ~ Stay in your most comfy pajamas all day long. I do not understand why or how, but I'm pretty sure pajamas have magical healing properties. Be well!
 
 
Picture
Tyler driving
Well, it's official. My son is turning 16 and, like all 16-year-old kids, he can't wait to get his driver's license.

We've been practicing all summer. He's driven me to the grocery store, swim practice, doctor's appointments, you name it. He's a good driver, a safe driver, a responsible driver. But I'm a mother; a loving mother, a protective mother, a nervous mother.

So mothers of the world, I ask for your support and advice. Please share with me your stories, your coping tools and your prayers as I prepare to hand the keys off to my son in this exciting, scary and inevitable right of passage!  
 
 

I woke up this morning with an inexplicable urge to run.

No, really... Not to run away from anything, just to run.

Normally, my morning routine consists of lingering in bed, snuggling with my dogs, who lie next to me snoring happily, and letting my cats walk all over me while purring fanatically. It's a great way to start the day, full of unconditional love and comfort.

I usually follow this with 10 or 15 minutes of meditation before rising for coffee or tea. Needless to say, I don't like to rush in the morning. And I almost never get the urge to RUN anywhere - least of all on the treadmill in my living room.

But this morning was different. This morning I wanted to run. So I put on my workout clothes, laced up my running shoes and climbed on the treadmill with sleep still in my eyes and breath that would knock over a dragon.

I was on the treadmill for no more than 5 minutes before I realized what today is. Today is my Dad's birthday. Okay, now you're asking, "Yea, so what's that got to do with anything?" 

Well, my Dad died 6 years ago as a double leg amputee. For the final years of his life he couldn't walk, let alone run. Instead, he spent those last years in a wheelchair, or in a hospital bed.

When Dad died I made a commitment to him and to myself that I would walk every chance I got; that I would walk for both of us. And this morning, I walked, I jogged, I ran, I sweated, I cried and I laughed - for both of us.

Hope you enjoyed the run Dad. Happy Birthday!